A few years ago, I began hearing the words “burned out” with disquieting frequency. I wasn’t certain if the term was being bandied about more liberally than usual, or if people were genuinely burned out and we were somehow getting things really, really wrong. While I sympathized with the sentiment, I also knew that burn-out is not God’s design. 

In some ways I understood. Years of caring for my high needs son who had trouble sleeping, while also trying to support my husband in ministry, nurture babies, homeschool our children, mother our bonus girls, while still finding time and brain space for hospitality and discipleship had left me utterly exhausted. The nights I crawled into bed thanking God that another day was over are too numerous to count. 

I was bone tired. I didn’t feel like serving my family or hosting people. I was tired of parenting alone. I even resented anything that smelled of theology, ministry, or preaching, because in my negative frame of mind, all it had ever done was take my husband away from me.

I knew I was wrong, yet I felt powerless to overcome the exhaustion and the bitterness that followed. 

And then Covid hit. 

I loved every minute of the first six months of lockdowns and quarantines imposed on Canadians. I know the lockdowns  hurt the economy and devastated many people, and for this I am truly sorry. Yet God used those lockdowns for my good. I spent hours soaking in Scripture, playing with my children, immersing myself in nature, and taking long walks. My life was still demanding—one cannot command a high needs child into being less needy—but I learned to rest, truly rest, in Jesus.  

The most life-altering lesson God taught me in those months of quiet was to rest in His steadfast love, then ask the Holy Spirit to tell me when to say “yes” and when to say “no.”  I cannot live whole if I am overcommitting myself beyond my endurance and outside of the Holy Spirit’s leading. Listening to the Spirit means sometimes I am intentionally resting and sometimes I reach for grace to live above my own capacity, knowing that God gives strength to the weary when He asks the weary to get up and fight against darkness and destruction. 

God carries us with gentleness and courage through intense seasons in life, yet sometimes we take on more than God wants us to and find ourselves collapsing under the weight of it. So what are we to do if we find ourselves stuck in a place of burnout? I believe the first step is to identify the cause. From my observations and months of study, I have pinpointed six major sources for burnout which can either be interconnected or function as individual entities.

1. We are more concerned about keeping people happy than we are about pleasing God. Sometimes ministry burnout could more accurately be described as people-pleasing fatigue. (I was 24 when Joseph was called to help pastor our church. He was 28. We knew we were much too young and yet we were confident that where God calls, He also provides. One of the things we learned early on, and something the Lord has continued to impress on us, is that we are called by God and therefore accountable to Him how we live and serve the church. There are so many expectations that come with any form of ministry (not just church leadership) and with those responsibilities comes the overwhelming temptation to lose our way trying to keep people happy. When we focus on pleasing people, we burn out. When we are committed to pleasing God and saying “yes” to His every directive, we are filled with joy and endurance. If we feel entitled, even subconsciously, to people’s appreciation or praise, we easily become bitter when our “sacrifices” go unnoticed. Just because my husband poured seventeen-plus years into ministering to the church at the expense of financial gain, doesn’t mean he has a free ticket to self-pity when/if his sacrifice goes unnoticed. Because, (get this!) he wasn’t called by the people, he was called by God. 
2. We are forging ahead on our own, attempting to fix everything and everyone, instead of asking the Holy Spirit for direction. (There are a million good things to do, and a thousand needs you could be filling, but God never intended for you to do everything.)
3. Our perceived worth is dependant on the validation busyness affords. (If our ministering is our “yes” to God’s call, we are simply giving our reasonable service in obedience to Him. If how well we perform as we serve and how busy we are serving is paramount to our self-worth, we are finding our identity in ministry and not in the One we are serving.) “Ministry is not a platform for validation- it an altar for surrender.”  ~Chris Durso
4. We are not allowing time for rest and recovery after an intense season of ministry. (This can be hard to do because we feel like we’re abandoning people who need us. But let me remind us again that we are here to lead people to Jesus, not make them eternally dependant upon ourselves. We serve as Christ directs, and we step aside to rest as we follow His example.)
5. We are dealing with debilitating health issues and are pushing our body beyond its limit.  (There is a time to say, “I can’t do this,” and simply step away from ministry for a season so your body can heal. Finding someone to replace you, while you rest and heal is not failure, it is wisdom. It is indelible proof that you care more about the people you minister to than about your place in that ministry. Not one of us are either indispensable or infallible.)
6. We are carrying stress the Lord never intended for us to carry, because we are either too proud to ask for help, or too afraid to surrender our burdens to the Lord Jesus. (If we feel the need to pretend like all is well when in reality we’re falling apart on the inside, we will burn out. What are we trying to protect? Our ego? Our fear of people’s expectations? The exposure of our failures? Lack of vulnerability doesn’t keep us safe from hurt, it merely redirects the hurt, destroys intimacy, and eventually leads to burn out.) 

Once we identify the cause, we must find its antidote. God is always eager to lead us into a place of wholeness. He wants us to thrive. His will for us is to live in peace, resting in His goodness, even during the most intense seasons of our lives. There is no shame in stepping aside to heal when healing is needed. This is not laziness; it is honouring God by intentionally choosing wholeness over frazzled dysfunction. A season of intentional rest can restore hope, improve health, and give courage to move ahead. That said, it is important to remember that this is a space to heal, not a place to find our permanent identity. 

“Rest long enough to recover, but don’t stay so long you miss the reason you were healed in the fi¹rst place.”  ~Chris Durso 

So what about all this talk of being “burned out?” Have we come to accept it as a semi-normal part of ministry, when the Scriptures instruct us to “not grow weary in doing good,”² and promise us that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me?”³ What happened to verses like, “my grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness?”⁴ God cannot lie and these words are His, therefore the fault must lie with our interpretation of ministry and not with the One who called us to minister. Thus I puzzled and prayed, for while it is easy to extend grace to those who have borne ongoing health problems, family or financial stress, or ministry responsibilities, when young people began throwing around words like, “I’m so burned-out,” I felt certain we must be getting something terribly wrong. 

Have we failed to pass on the truth of God’s sustaining grace to this younger generation? 

Has burn-out become a badge of honour; melancholic proof of how arduously we have served?  

Have we forgotten how to rest and refresh ourselves in the Lord and therefore are upholding unhealthy lifestyles for them to emulate? Or have we molly-coddled them into thinking that after hitting a few difficulties and “brick walls,” they have the right to wear “burn-out” like an identifying garment? . 

We know that the Lord’s intention for each of us is to live in wholeness. To thrive in whatever capacity He has called us to. “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless (or whole) at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23

Christ in us is light and truth, and His presence will always bring hope and healing if we invite Him into the inner sanctuary of our souls. He wants us to thrive, spirit, soul, and body, and He is more than able to bring this about no matter how intense life may be. If we ask Him, He will either guide us into finding ways to make our lives more sustainable or He will give us grace and courage to live above our own capacity. Either way, we can thrive because God is in the centre of it. 

1. Quotes by Chris Durso taken from his Instagram page ↩︎
2. Galatians 6:9 ESV ↩︎
3. Philippians 4:13 ESV ↩︎
4. 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV ↩︎